Surviving the Holidays with Infertility
Okay but did anyone else realize that the holiday season starts TOMORROW?! I know i'm not the only one who thought "oh i'll be pregnant by next Christmas no need to prepare" well SURPRISE! Time to mentally prepare for all the questions, the sad eyes and comments like "well, just take my kids!".
Some of these may or may not apply to you depending on your situation, it will also depend on whether you are open about your infertility or if you like to keep it to yourself. You do you!
A fellow infertile wrote: "I like to warn my family about upcoming potential hard days ahead so they anticipate the possibility of my absence. I’ll tell them, I might not make that birthday party if we get bad news that day. Or, just kind of inform them what we are going to be doing on specific days and how I might feel because of it. My in laws have been very supportive and have been great about giving me space since I’ve openly communicated our IVF schedule with them."
We have told our very immediate family about dates so that if we can't make it to a family party or just out for the night they know why!
Take a Break:
Another said: "We actually took a break from fertility treatments last year during the holidays and that was so nice. We're doing the same thing this year. We're not going to think about it until January or February."
This was not an option for us, mostly because I am just not patient enough, plus I have this whole thing about leaving IVF and infertility in 2017 that I hope I can still achieve. Everyone is different and handles their journey according to what they can handle!
Allow yourself private time and space to feel sad:
Listen to songs that are important to you or that allow you to get in touch with your deep feelings and cry. Then cry some more and sigh some more, but at some point switch to a different kind of music to distract yourself.
I am such a cryer, and it helps me personally to get all of those emotions out! If I keep them bottled up I throw a fit in Target or something even more embarrassing than crying when listening to Rachel Platten.
Or just do something for yourself! I will share a blog post soon with all of my favorite meditations, but you can easily find a FREE guided mediation on YouTube to walk you through whatever you need. Sometimes I need some positivity, sometimes I just need to sleep, and sometimes I need a chakra balance!
Lean on those around you:
Even if you are keeping your infertility journey low-key you MUST have at least one person to turn to. Do not turn against them. Even support from one or two people will help you feel less isolated. Remember that your friends and family might not fully understand what you are going through, but they do want to keep you company.
"Fake it till you make it." :
If you have had any time in the infertility world - you've got this one down already! Consciously reflect more on your present blessings and less on your sorrow and losses. At the beginning it might seem fake – even hard to do – but the more you do it the more you will see that there are some things to be thankful for even in the face of adversity.
And as Winston Churchill once said, "If you're going through hell, keep going."